Utterly Hopeless and Utterly Helpless
by SinsofMidnight
Summary: Perhaps it is poetic justice that the man who cares for him winds up in his care. Yet, it is more than his unexpected responsibility as Shūei's friend that distresses one Li Kōyū, the man who always has something on his mind... Shūei/Kōyū. Sick fic, due to the month I was ill.
1. Chapter 1

I love this series so very much, but it was only teh encouragement of one of my favorite authors that works with this pairing that made me confident enough to try my own hand... hope I don't let you down...

* * *

**Utterly Hopeless / Utterly Helpless**

**_Fandom:_**_ Saiunkoku Monogatari_

**_Teaser:_**_ "Falling in love with your best friend is highly frowned upon, especially when your best friend is a womanizing satyr and you happen to be of the same sex. Apparently the messenger had failed to deliver _that _notice to me somewhere between my Civil Services exam and taking up my post in the Imperial Court."_

**_Inspiration:_**_ I'm still sick…. :(( I thought something good should come out of it…_

**_Rating: _**_M, because Shūei is over-sexed :P_

**_Warnings:  
_**_-Man-crushes  
-Sickness  
-Minor panic attacks  
-Cute moments  
-Lord Shoka's tea  
-Paperwork  
-Lousy patient  
-Kōyū's sense of direction  
-Kōyū's mouth :P (He _is_ the most likely character to swear…)_

**_Main Pairing: _**_Shūei Ran/Kōyū Li_

**_Minor Pairings:_**_ N/A_

**_Setting: _**_In universe… maybe after S01 E11? I blame the episode that featured Shurei's illness for this one…_

**_POV:_**_ Kōyū, because Shūei is a lousy patient :P_

**_Summary:_**_ Perhaps it is poetic justice that the man who cares for him winds up in his care. Yet, it is more than his unexpected responsibility as Shūei's friend that distresses one Li Kōyū, the man who always has something on his mind..._

**_Additional ANs:_**_ In my initial idea, Kōyū would have been the patient… but then I thought about it: the beloved adopted son of the most awkward of the Hong (Kou) brothers would be coddled oddly by that strange man. Besides, it was more fun to think about a sick Shūei and the fact that Kōyū might feel the need to take care of him, as a friend, since Shūei always helps him find his way…  
Also, it's important to know that I will persist in referring to the Kou clan as Hong, mostly because it's less confusing for me (especially since I threw in an abstract reference to the member of the Ko clan, as well)… and my first introduction to this story was through the manga (published in English) and that was how they referred to them._

* * *

**Before You Go On –Notices from the Author:**

**_And the Word of the Day Is….  
_**_Since I'm pretty sure most of you are unfamiliar with this word, I thought I'd make a note.  
"Satyriasis" is excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire in a man. You might be familiar with its counterpart, "nymphomania", which is the same sexual desires in a woman. If one refers to a man suffering from satyriasis, you call that person a "satyr", just as one would call a woman suffering from nymphomania by the term "nymphomaniac".  
Basically, calling someone a satyr is a way of calling someone a horn-dog. Only someone who is educated, or has too much time on their hands, would use such a word. As you'll see later on, the man who says it falls under "educated". The writer falls under "too much time on her hands". :P_

**_Clothing Questions?_**_  
I've spent enough time reading manga to have a pretty good grasp on the traditional _Japanese_ clothes.  
But Saiunkoku is more like ancient China, as are their clothes. So I looked it up. What Koyu and Shuei wear are Hanfu garments, or Han style Chinese clothing, which were the historical dress of the Han Chinese people. They generally consist of the upper garment (or the yi, which have loose lapels and are open), the lower garment (which consists of skirts called chang), sleeves (which are loose and long), sparingly used buttons that are usually concealed inside the garment, and the fittings (belts/sashes used to close, secure and fit the garments around the waist).  
There's a whole lot of more specific information on the article I browsed. But, the most pertinent additional information is that there are several levels of court-dress for this style of clothing. The one that I will refer to is called changfu, which is the everyday court dress. There is a more detailed description, better naming of the parts, historical information, ect al in the article on Wikipedia (search "Han Chinese Clothing"), if you are interested._

* * *

I first realized that something was wrong with Shūei when he started to fall asleep in the archives.

For all the man ran on strength and sex, he _always_ got enough sleep each night to enable him to perform well the next day and he _never_ fell asleep while he was anywhere that anyone else could see him, as far as I knew. Yet when I had looked up from the latest law that our young emperor was asking for my assistance on, I was quite stunned to see him sleeping in his chair. I knew he wasn't feigning a doze, like he tended to on occasion: he was snoring softly, his elbow propped on the table and his head lolled to rest on one of his own shoulders in a position that I knew from my personal experience would leave his neck stiff in the morning. His cheeks bore a flush of color, as though he'd been riding on horseback into a cold wind, and his body seemed to tremble slightly. Yet he still looked oddly peaceful this way.

If it were anyone else in the Imperial Court, I would have _sworn_ they had taken ill. Though I loathed to admit it on many occasions, I had known Shūei for years now and I knew him well. The man took simply _great _care of his body. It was more likely for _me_ to get sick –I did so yearly, when the warm autumn winds grew cooler– than for Shūei to fall ill. In fact, in as long as I had known this occasionally annoying over-sexed general, I'd never heard of or seen the man take ill. He was simply too hardy a flower for that.

It was late into the night: the draft had needed careful revisions, but it had to be considered less important than my many other duties. So after I had completed my duties of the day, I had chosen to stay in the archives to have a look at it. Shūei had actually stayed in the Imperial Archives to keep me company, as he had many times before. Though I would never say it to his face for fear of over-inflating his already large ego, he was actually a really good friend and he usually took much better care of me than I deserved.

Recalling how he tended to look after me, I sighed and set down the composition. It could wait until morning. Shūei, with his neck in that position, obviously couldn't. Besides, I was growing tired and stiff as well.

Still, he seemed so peaceful in sleep. When his mouth was closed and his eyes were closed –meaning that I couldn't see that teasing light dancing in his dark eyes or that taunting smirk– he really was quite beautiful, something like a porcelain doll in some way. His skin was fair but not stark against the darkness of his eyes and of his silky hair. Long lashes rested against his cheeks and strands of his hair were beginning to defect from the way it had been styled this morning. His lips were a thing of elegance, pale pink in color and taunting me with my desire to touch them in spite of the fact that he was asleep. Even his robes were beginning to look something less than perfect.

I liked this quiet, less-than-perfect view of him. In fact, I would admit to finding him a great deal more appealing when his mouth was closed. However, if I was honest with myself, I would have to admit that Ran Shūei was at his most attractive when some snide comment slipped past his elegant lips and that light danced playfully in his dark eyes.

Falling in love with your best friend is highly frowned upon, especially when your best friend is a womanizing satyr and you happen to be of the same sex. Apparently the messenger had failed to deliver _that_ notice to me somewhere between my Civil Services exam and taking up my post in the Imperial Court. I still doubted that I was the first man to fall in love with Ran Shūei –after all, men are just as affected as women when it comes to a beautiful face and a generally charming demeanor. I _was_ probably the only foolish man to fall in love while being completely aware of his sexuality and working closely with him every day. What can I say: for a man many hail as a genius, I was just as prone as anyone else to doing a few pretty stupid things on occasion.

Rising from my chair, I walked over to him and touched his shoulder, gently shifting his body. "Shūei. Wake up, Shūei. If you don't go home to sleep, you'll have to drink Lord Shoka's tea in the morning," I told him wryly, feeling a little more playful than usual despite how tired I was. Perhaps it had to do with actually seeing Shūei's slumbering face for once. After all, I was indeed privileged to see him this way. From what I understood, he didn't even like his _lovers_ to see his sleeping face.

He stirred slowly, like he'd had to fight his way to consciousness from a great depth. "Anything but that," he replied, his tone wry despite the slight rasp.

His eyes were still closed, and I found myself wanting to see the light dance in them again. _You are such a fool,_ I chastised myself. "Open your eyes. You can't walk to your quarters with them closed. While you are much more coordinated than I, even you aren't _that_ coordinated yet."

Those long, soot-colored lashes fluttered for a few seconds before opening to half-mast –just enough to show a hint of his lovely eyes. Those onyx eyes were still very intense, even in spite of his sleep-fog. He reached out twice before his hand settled on my wrist. "Help me home?" he asked. "I'm still half asleep."

Mentally, I counted up all of the reasons I could come up with to prove that taking him to his quarters would be a bad idea. Then I remembered that with my poor sense of direction it might well be morning before we reached his quarters: he would fall asleep on my shoulder as I tried to hold him up and we would both end up sleeping in the middle of the path until some unsuspecting official found us tomorrow morning.

As if he knew what I was thinking, he added, "I'm awake enough to give directions. Just probably not awake enough to stay on my feet."

"Mm," I replied, my answer noncommittal, even though I was already helping him to his feet and slinging his arm over my shoulder. The position placed his mouth too close to my ear, but it wasn't like I would have to carry him far. Besides he wouldn't intentionally do something to humiliate me, but if I made it obvious that I didn't want him in that position, he would go out of his way to tease me and breathe in my ear. It was just the way he was.

I helped him home as he requested, the low murmur of his directions in my ear turning my face any of fifteen different shades of red. I prayed it wouldn't register to him in the darkness. It really didn't help _anything_ that I found that low, rough tone incredibly sexy and that my ears were one of my major erogenous zones. Somehow, we managed to get to his quarters fairly quickly. After I made sure he got inside and into his bed, I walked back toward the Archives. The only reason I didn't get too lost was because I'd left a light on to guide my way back.

I picked up the draft of the bill, turned out the light, and somehow managed to find my way home without too much trouble.

I dreamt about soft elegant lips, hot breath on my neck and low rumbles in my ear. And it didn't surprise me that when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was frustrated because I had to leave that dream.

* * *

_I hope my build up is okay... It seems like a slow beginning, but there's a lot of things to be mentioned and touched upon before I dive into things._

_I hope my voice isn't too snarky for __Kōyū_. He does tend more toward the snapish side of things... but he also does some snark...

_Pardon my issues with the proper names of things... I've been stranded in the middle of season 2 for a while now because I haven't had the internet access or the time..._

_I hope above all hope that it is still a worthy piece and that you all still enjoy it. Please REVIEW and let me know, one way or the other._


	2. Chapter 2

_So perhaps it's time to hit a more intense stride in this tale of illness... _

_Hold onto your socks, kids :P_

* * *

When Shūei didn't show his face around the palace the next day, I knew that something was gravely wrong. While he could be quite egotistical at times, Shūei was well-aware of the fact that his duties were important to the function of the Imperial Court. He would not abandon them at a moment's notice for no good reason; it may have run opposite to the attitudes he hid behind, but Shūei was nothing if not responsible. Why else would the emperor have chosen him?

I may not like to admit it, but there reaches a certain point when one can't lie to themselves anymore. The fact of the matter was that I have an unusually horrible sense of direction. However, somehow, when the situation was dire enough, I always somehow managed to find my way, no matter how incredible it seemed. Considering how long it usually took me to find my way to places I visited every single day, it was almost alarming how quickly I found my way to Shūei's quarters.

I called out several times, but received no answer. "Shūei?" I called out, a bit louder. "Shūei, are you alright? It's not like you to not show up for duty."

Still, there was no reply. Frustrated, I gave the door a sharp kick, intending to give up soon after. When the door swung inward and into the room, something _possibly_ related to alarm settled in the pit of my stomach. Shūei was a military officer responsible for the personal safety of the Emperor of Saiunkoku: he did _not_ go around leaving his doors unlocked. His training had made him way too paranoid for such a folly.

_And perhaps his paranoia is rubbing off on me,_ I supposed, trying to figure out why I had the same feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had on the day Lady Shurei was kidnapped. I positively _refused_ to believe that it could be terror; I don't get terrified because of stupid generals who can't show up for duty for _one day_, because that would be insane. And though I might be many things, I usually never counted "insane" among the numbers.

I stepped into his quarters tentatively, figuring this was a scenario in which it was best to error on the side of caution. Rarely had I ever been to this location and only once before had I been invited in for social purposes, so I had to figure things out as I went. Carefully, I figured out my way to the bedroom that I had left him in last night.

When I found myself standing at the foot of his bed, I had to look away and then take another look to verify that I really was seeing what was truly there. Ran Shūei looked like a completely different man.

He still wore the same changfu from the night before. However, the garment was completely rumpled, and the usually casually yet seductively loose lapels now gaped. His usual belt was now absent, as were the usual ornamentation. His hair was loose and splayed around his face. His skin was flushed. Sweat beaded on his forehead and dampened his clothes enough that they clung desperately to the muscular planes of his chest.

I reached forward almost automatically, resting my wrist against his forehead. He was burning up! He turned and made a noise in his sleep.

Ah, hell. When Ran Shūei got sick, he couldn't just get a simple cold: he just _had _to go all out.

I swore under my breath. He was definitely running a high fever, and I didn't think it would be safe to leave him to suffer through this illness alone.

Onyx eyes fluttered open slowly. "Kōyū?" he asked softly, his voice almost weak.

My gaze jerked to his. "Shūei. Might I suggest that the next time you take ill, you should take care to not let it get this bad?" I asked tartly, not wanting to show him just how worried this made me.

"Sick? I can't be sick… I never get sick…" His statement was punctuated by a coughing fit, as though his body was intent on proving to both him and me that he was wrong.

"I assure you, you are most definitely ill." I gave him a tight smile that probably only held a _hint_ of genuine warmth. "Is there anyone who can watch over you until you get better?"

He shook his head, his eyes falling closed again. "No…"

"Let me go to the emperor. He'll dispatch the royal physicians." I turned on my heel, ready to leave.

His hand reached out weakly and grabbed my wrist in a surprisingly strong grip. I turned to look at him again. "No..." he rasped out. He swallowed before opening his mouth again. "Stay?" he asked me.

I kind of wanted to smile. Shūei may be ill –and quite so, if his symptoms were any indication– but the fact of the matter was that he wanted _me_ to stay with him and care for him. It showed he trusted me greatly, but more importantly, what I saw was that he trusted me as much as I trusted him.

Every now and then, I wondered if he'd somehow managed to get it into his head that I was his over-sized housecat that didn't live with him. He watched after me and cared for me, but it was common for him to sort of treat me like some sort of pet. Yet, he found me trustworthy enough and responsible enough to care for him when he was ill, something that only seemed to occur every once in a great while. It was almost the highest form of compliment, coming from a man like him.

I tore myself away from my thoughts only to find that Shūei had fallen asleep. Yet I recalled his desperate plea that I not leave him, and I could barely bring myself to leave his bedside.

Frantically, I searched and managed to come up with a few blank sheet of parchment. Reishin would not appreciate a sick note from me, especially since the man that had adopted me knew that _I_ certainly wasn't ill. But he would understand my need to take care of a dear friend, in the manner he would care from Minister Ko on such an occasion. In addition, I also needed to inform Shūei's subordinates that he was too ill to work _and_ I needed to inform the emperor that both of his advisers would be absent. My notes were brief and curt, and I stepped out of Shūei's rooms only long enough to find someone who would risk going near Minister Hong to deliver that particular note. I had a feeling that Reishin wouldn't take the news graciously –there was much work to be done in the department and my absence would be a detriment– but he _would_ understand.

When I ducked back into his quarters, I wandered back to Shūei's bedside. His skin still bore the flush I'd seen earlier, but the sweat was beading more abundantly on his skin. Glancing around, I found a basin and a clean cloth. I had to go to the well for water, but the cool water would hopefully ease his fever. I poured it carefully into the basin and brought it over to his bedside. I brought a chair over as well so I could sit beside him. Wringing out the cloth, I laid it across his forehead gently and watched the furrows of discomfort ease some.

The dampness of his garments concerned me. I would never be able to even out his body temperature if he was soaked in sweat! Besides laying there in the clothes he wore yesterday was probably the least comfortable thing aside from his illness –or it would be for me.

I bit my lip and worried. I mean, we were friends: what's a little nudity between same-gender friends, especially one who was taking care of the other? Except I knew something he didn't: I'd been stupid enough to fall in love with the man who was basically my best friend.

Taking his clothes off was probably a bad idea. However, I couldn't just leave him in discomfort; I just couldn't. So I took a deep breath and peeled back his blankets until they rested on his hips. Slowly, careful to not disturb him, I parted the lapels even further and carefully pulled his arms back through the sleeves. Gently, I returned his arms to his side and eased the garment out from beneath him so that he might rest more comfortably.

I retrieved the cloth I'd placed on his forehead, dipping it back in the basin and wringing it out before I wiped down his chest briskly, trying to ignore the muscular planes of his chest. Distracting myself with his chest when I was to be caring for him was a very bad idea indeed.

When I had dampened the flesh lightly, I took a moment to study the contours and muscular planes of his chest. I was unable to keep myself from it, so I decided to limit my exposure to his strong physique and my temptation. After around a minute, I pulled the covers back up over his chest and tucked him in carefully. Then I allowed myself a few moments to relax and stretch out from where I was seated.

_I'll only close my eyes for a moment,_ I promised myself as my heavy eyelids drooped. _I'll wake up if he needs me…_

* * *

_Ah, I have too much fun, and most of it at Kōyū's expense. _

_Poor child is so exhausted that he passes out with his patient. I wonder if he'll wake up before him?_

_Let me know what you think! Leave me a review :P_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello, my doves._

_I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that I finished watching Saiunkoku Monogatari. Then I watched most of season one again, haha._

_Call it divine intervention on the motivation front. Getting to see all of those bishies… Ah, it does make a girl love shoujo again…and want to pair off the sexy bishies, of course, haha._

_Alright, I know it's been a while. I went back and edited the first two chapters –I had a few spelling errors on the names and I needed to make a few more changes, anyway.  
An important change was made: in section two, Kōyū sends _three_ letters instead of just one because I apparently forgot that these lovely men had any responsibilities aside from each other…_

_So! This chapter's warnings include:  
__-Thoroughly blushing Kōyū  
-Nude Shūei  
-Shameless ogling of Shūei's anatomy  
- Kōyū being 2/3 housewife, 1/3 mother_

_Anywho! On with the show, right?_

* * *

I was awakened by a soft sound.

My eyes fluttered open quickly, but it took me a few moments to focus. Sitting up slowly, my gaze went to the man lying on the bed before me.

The soft sound, I quickly realized, was Shūei's faint sound of discomfort.

His groan of discomfort made me wince. How could I have slept while this man actually _needed_ me? I rose quickly and moved to his side, sliding my hand across his brow once more. His temperature hadn't risen any, but it certainly wasn't going down. I was going to have to go after medicine for him if he was to improve anytime soon.

Almost as though he'd known what had crossed my mind, a strong hand wrapped around my wrist.

"Kōyū?" he rasped, his voice rusty from lack of use.

"I… I'm right here," I returned softly.

All the tension seemed to melt from his body, like knowing that I was still here somehow set him completely at ease.

"Shūei," I began.

His grip on my wrist tightened again, as though he knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

"Shūei, I need to go get medicine for you. This fever won't go away on its own –especially since this illness managed to take _you_, of all people, in the first place."

He shook his head listlessly, denying my plea.

"What would you have me do, then?"

"Stay." Something in his tone made it sound as though he wouldn't be able to get any better if I wasn't here with him.

"What _else_?" I asked. "What can I do to ease your discomfort?"

"Your hands are so cool," he murmured as he released his hold on my wrist.

I'm sure the smile I wore was soft and pleasured as I turned my hand against his forehead, pressing the cool skin against his warmed skin. "Anything else?" I inquired.

He sighed. "Too hot."

I drew back his covers, carefully leaving the thin sheet over him. "Better?"

He shook his head. "Too hot," he repeated.

It was my turn to sigh. "Shall I remove the rest of your clothes? Perhaps that would be cooler?"

He nodded ever so slightly. "Please?" he asked me softly.

There were twenty-thousand reasons to say no to such a request. I could come up with each of them in a single instant, if needed. Yet I knew I couldn't deny him when he nodded his head in assent. Despite thousands of reasons to refuse, I still had one strong reason that somehow outweighed the others and kept me from refusing him. And unfortunately, that was also the primary reason I should have said no.

"Ah, alright," I told him softly.

Swallowing hard, my hands clutched the light sheet as though it were a lifeline. When I drew it down his body, I tried hard to not allow myself to be distracted by the miles and miles of beautiful skin and firm supple muscles I revealed before dropping the sheet below his feet. If nothing else, I was worried that he might be just lucid enough to remember me ogling his body when I was supposed to be seeing to his comfort. Shūei was the kind of man who'd catch someone looking at him, flash them a smile, and ask if they liked what they'd seen, all without feeling even an ounce of shame.

It was difficult to complete this process without giving myself away. Taking a deep breath and holding it, I flicked open the button that held the skirts of the chang around his body. When I felt the give in the fabric, I carefully pulled the garment down by the hem. Some part of me registered the way he lifted his pelvis to ease the process. My attempts to avert my gaze from what I unveiled were only moderately successful. I was certain that I was blushing horribly.

Shūei and I had been close for a number of years, but I had never seen him naked before. It was strange, but yet at the same time, completely arbitrary. I'd honestly seen him involved in actual combat more frequently that I'd ever seen him anything but completely dressed. So each inch revealed was new to me, new data and details for me to memorize and add to my mind's vivid memories of him. Yet at the same time, each spectacular measure –and I had no doubt that each and every part was nothing short of spectacular– created deep fear within me.

The more I added to my mind's vibrant recollections of the man called Ran Shūei, the more I feared that I would never be able to get over falling in love with the stupid general. It would thrust the final nail in the coffin of the delusion I often comforted myself with –"it's just a meaningless, passing fascination"– and force me to look at the reality of my situation with wide open eyes. When I watched him parade around with various ladies, I would no long be able to call a pang of envy simple "anger". When he spoke surprisingly sweet words to me, I wouldn't just be able to blush and take it as a joke. When he called himself my best friend, I wouldn't be able to convince myself that I was angry because it wasn't true instead of being angry because some traitorous part of me wanted more.

Opening myself to the reality of my situation would rewrite the way I lived my entire life and it would make me force distance between myself and that man. It was for that very reason that I _liked_ the comfort of my delusion.

When I realized that I'd already let go of my delusions and self-deceit, it came as quite a shock to realize that I was just as in love with _him_ as I was with the illusions I'd clung to. Or perhaps I was even more in love with him that I'd ever believed possible, for I did not weep the loss of my illusions: instead, it seemed I'd traded them in for equal measures of infatuation. What was worse was that it didn't seem to bother me at all.

Even worse yet, I finally noticed that the simple task that had sent me into so much emotional turmoil was finished. Of course, I noticed it when I allowed my lowered gaze to seek his face –since I was at his feet, my gaze ended up tracing the entire length of his now-nude body.

Never in my life had I blessed myself more for being so prone to blushing, because I doubted that I could have stuttered any sort of excuse for it past my trembling lips at the moment.

My hands automatically removed the rest of the garment and tossed it toward the garment that I'd already removed. Mindless footsteps took me back to the basin of water and the cloth that floated atop the surface.

I wasn't even capable of comprehendible thoughts at the moment.

I couldn't deny that I had often fantasized about this man or pondered the beauty of his naked body or dreamed of touching him. Mostly, I couldn't deny them because I apparently no longer had the capability to burry my head that deeply in the sand. Yet every longing thought or fantasy or desire had been completely put to shame by the man who lay prone and nude before me.

A man should never be allowed to be that freaking _beautiful_! There should be rules or laws or something!

His skin bore the flush of fever, and I couldn't help but swallow so hard my tonsils should have gone down with it. His thighs seemed carved of moonlight and marble, firm and solid and strong. Those legs were somehow impossibly long, yet of course they were somehow elegant and slender though his thorough training definitely provided some beautiful muscular definition. Yet my eyes were drawn to the dark thatch of hair between his thighs and to what else lay between them. I'm sure my blush deepened several shades when my eyes snagged upon that part of him.

No man wanted to hear that his cock was beautiful, I was sure. Long, thick, well-endowed… those were adjectives properly applied to that particular part of a man's anatomy. Beautiful, splendid, lovely… while a man would use those adjectives about other things, I was certain that they were never usually tastefully selected to describe such a thing unless there was some other inadequacy. As for Shūei, well, the words "inadequacy" and "Shūei" should never be used in the same sentence.

Though flaccid and nestled among curls as dark as the hair on his head, the organ was a lovely shade of pink –the same shade of pink as his nipples, if my assessment was accurate. And though it was not stirred to arousal, the length was evident. By my own estimations, I believed that he could possibly be larger than I was when aroused, and that thought sent a tantalizing shiver through me.

Tearing my gaze away was difficult. Luckily, it seemed that my careful perusal of his body had escaped his notice. His chest heaved fitfully –surely not from the simple exertion of lifting his hips?

I dipped my hand into the basin and removed the soaked cloth. Wringing it out carefully, I tried not to dribble water everywhere. Turning back to my "patient", I drug the cool cloth across the flushed skin of his face fist. Next, I briskly brought it across the planes of his chest where a shimmer of sweat both enticed and worried me. As the damp cloth was brought down the firm rows of abdominal muscles, he sighed softly. Not wanting him to see me blush, I hurriedly swiped it down the lengths of both powerful thighs and then covered his nude body with the light sheet once more.

The sigh he released was almost …_pleasured_.

Needless to say, that sound had a profound effect on me. The blush I'd been working so hard to banish replenished itself, and certain parts of my anatomy that had no business reacting did as they damned well pleased.

"Kōyū?" he asked hesitantly.

Taking a deep breath, I placed the cloth back in the basin. "Yes, Shūei?" I returned, hoping that my tone came out calm, neutral, normal… bland.

"The emperor… we were supposed to meet with the emperor…"

"Don't worry about it."

"But-!"

"Don't worry about it," I growled. Taking a quick breath and forcing myself to calm down, it was a moment before I continued but my tone was almost tender. "You're sick, Shūei. Can't you just let someone else worry about things for once?"

His head tossed against the pillow. "Responsibilities…" he muttered.

I arched a brow. He was worried about responsibilities after practically demanding that I abandon mine? Somehow, I managed to hold my tongue –probably because I distracted myself by stroking his brow. Still, he remained tense beneath my touch.

I sighed. "I sent a messenger with a letter to the emperor. He's aware you're ill. I sent three letters in all. Our responsibilities should all be covered today, alright? So relax and concentrate on getting better already."

The sound that emerged sounded a bit like a chuckle. "How do you think Reishin took it?"

"Poorly, I'm sure. He'll have to deal with it." I shrugged, allowing my gaze to wander over his face. "Do you feel up to eating something?"

He shook his head and I pursed my lips.

"Oh, come now. Is there something that at least sounds good to you?"

He shook his head again.

Shaking my head, I chuckled lightly. "If I make you something, will you eat it?"

Sleepy dark eyes met mine, and he blinked at me. "Yes?" he returned groggily.

Gods, but he was adorable when he was sick! I ruffled his hair a bit. "Alright. Sleep a little more, then, and I'll be back soon with something."

He made a soft sound and I wasn't sure if he liked how it felt when I ruffled his hair or if he was unhappy with the fact I'd done it. Still, those heavy eyelids drifted down and those long lashes fanned out against his cheeks.

I watched him a little longer, until his breathing became heavy and deep. Then I leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead before leaving in search of the kitchen. I felt as though I was two-thirds housewife, one-third mother, but I didn't mind. Shūei needed someone to watch over him, and right then, I didn't mind being the delegated party.

After all, he _was_ my best friend.

* * *

_Whew! 2000 + words! That one got away from me a bit after I succeeded in the chapter goal (which was "get Shūei naked" ^^), but I think it worked out well enough._

_Alright, my loves. I am of an amused mood, and I wish to allow the intrusion of one character on this series of private moments between Shūei and Kōyū.  
Now: Who do you think should visit?  
In a review, give me a name and a reason (reasons _can_ include "Because it would annoy Koyu", haha). I promise to consider all replies to this!  
I would like only one character, though I have this urge to take my cues from S01 E11 (when Shurei fell ill) in which everyone and their cousin visited the patient. I'm trying to restrain myself... but if you can give me a good enough reason, I'll consider it ;)_

_I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to come to fruition, but I hope that the quality of work I'm presenting to you makes up for it… Don't mind any pesky little errors –actually, let me know if you notice any and I'll try to fix them!– because I wanted to post this as soon as possible, therefore I'm the only one who actually looked over the chapter. _

_Anyway, hope you liked it. Let me know what was good, what was bad, where I went totally off the rails with Kōyū's character… all that fun stuff… but please review. As a writer, it's your reviews that help to keep me moving on these stories! Hopefully, I'll be able to complete another chapter soon so you won't be waiting as long…_

_Ever at your pleasure,  
~Sins~_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello, my doves._

_It has been almost two weeks since I last gave you some progress for these two..._

_Well, I'm here to entertain you with 2000 words (approximately) of my darling Kōyū interacting with two people. The first one is an easy guess... I wonder if anyone will be surprised by the second one? Shūei had to get medicine somehow..._

_Anyway! _

_I shall let the chapter speak for itself~_

* * *

I'd barely finished preparing a light meal for Shūei when I heard a tentative knock on the door. Sighing heavily, I hurried to answer it before whoever it was got frustrated, knocked louder, and managed to rouse Shūei from his sound sleep. Then again, he hadn't been awakened by me moving about in his kitchen, so perhaps it would be alright, but I preferred to error on the side of caution.

Opening the door, I realized with astonishment that it was none other than Shi Ryuuki, the Emperor. Breath rushed past his slightly parted lips in shallow pants and a high flush rode on his aristocratic cheekbones, as though he had run the entire way here from the Imperial Court. He might have –the emperor could be a remarkably impulsive creature.

I was unsure how Shūei would feel about me inviting the emperor into his home, but I really did not want to be responsible for him passing out in front of the door either. With a smile, I beckoned him inside.

He shook his head, declining the offer. I wasn't sure if it was because he intended it to be a short visit or if he was considering Shūei's reaction, as well. Either way, I had to respect his decision.

"What brought you all this way so urgently, your highness?" I inquired politely, figuring it was _definitely_ because he wanted to check on Shūei's condition.

"In your note, you said he wasn't allowing you to leave his side." His tone wasn't reproving, just concerned.

I nodded slowly. "Even the few times I mentioned getting medicine. I'm not sure if he's used to having someone by his side when he's ill or if he's never experienced it."

The emperor produced three small white paper packets from inside his robes. He handed me the first. "This one is to help reduce his fever." When he handed me the second envelope, he gave me a tentative sime. "This one is to help to ease his discomfort if he has persistent body-aches."

I nodded slowly, noting each use and packet in turn. It made sense to me: he'd obviously visited the royal physicians out of pure concern. The gesture was incredibly thoughtful and highly appreciated. It took a moment, but I looked turned to him with a slightly puzzled expression. "What's the third one for?"

He looked away. "A sedative, in case he's being especially difficult."

I chuckled softly. "If you'll come in, you can judge for yourself. I was about to wake him so he could eat something."

To anyone else, I supposed it would seem strange that the emperor had made his way here with nothing but the intention to deliver medicine. I just happened to be more aware of the inner-workings of the emperor's mind than most –and Shūei was better aware of things than I was when it came to the emperor. Even _I_ knew that the vital thing to understand was that the Emperor of Saiunkoku led a very lonely life. The one thing he disliked more than the loneliness, however, was feeling helpless when someone he cared deeply needed help or protection. And I knew for a fact that he cared very deeply about Shūei.

The flush of exertion on his cheeks was replaced by a blush as he nodded his head in acceptance of the offer.

I quickly ushered him inside. Slipping back into the kitchen and retrieving the tray, I led the emperor followed me back toward Shūei's bedroom.

It was only about then that I thought about the fact my patient was completely naked under the light sheet. I turned back to look at the emperor, and I'm quite sure my expression was the epitome of contrition cross-bred with embarrassment. "Ah, your highness…" I began slowly. "His fever hasn't broken yet, and he was very warm…" Try as I might, I couldn't just seem to say it. I released a sigh of frustration. "You highness, he's completely nude beneath a sheet. It might be a good idea to avoid disturbing it."

The emperor seemed amused –probably by my reaction more than anything. "Perhaps you may want to warn him that we are here to see him, then?"

I blushed hotly. Fucking hell, was he really teasing me at this moment? It was a hell of a time to become aware that _the Emperor of Saiunkoku_ was aware of my …infatuation with my best friend. It wasn't like I _chose_ to be attracted to that man. He was _arrogant_ and _sarcastic_ and _caring_ and _kind_… And this was not the time to impersonate a love-sick girl –not when there was someone who was _actually_ sick cooped up in a bed just beyond this door.

I eyed that door like it was pure evil. In a way, I supposed it was: this door played the role of the gate to temptations that I had trouble standing against. Gods, could I blame him because he was born beautiful? Arbitrarily, I decided I could –and _would_.

The emperor actually _chuckled_ at my predicament. "You know, he's not getting any better with you just standing out here."

I made a personal note to tear his next bill to _shreds_ and to encourage at least _two_ ministers to vote it down. The last thing I needed was _the lovesick, childlike emperor_ laughing at my predicament –and we in the Hong clan held to a long passed-down tradition of vindictive behavior, none of which was anything to scoff at.

Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that as one of the emperor's personal advisers, it was my job to support him. I also tried to remind myself that Reishin's notion of justice rarely endeared him to anyone. Still, giving up on the notion of avenging my discomfort in this situation was hard for me. Perhaps Reishin had rubbed off on me more than I'd thought. Once I had decided that the deficits outweighed the benefits, I made a note to never mention this to Reishin. He would either laugh at me himself or meat out vengeance on my behalf, and there were still several bones of contention between him and the emperor, anyway.

I took one more deep breath before pushing the door open and walking through it. Immediately, I gravitated toward Shūei's bedside. Sliding the tray onto the bed-side table was easy enough since I'd taken the time to remove the basin of water and empty it. Next, I reached out for him, gently touching his –bare– shoulders and giving him a gentle shake. When he didn't stir immediately, I frowned. Drawing my hand slowly across his brow, I called out to him.

"Shūei. Shūei, wake up. I brought you some food, and you may have a visitor." My tone was gentle but urgent.

He stirred slowly, his hand reaching out for my wrist again. It was as though by caging my wrist with his large hand, he was trying to keep me by his side. It was a bit ridiculous, considering the fact I hadn't even seriously _contemplated_ leaving his side.

"I'm not leaving, Shūei. You don't have to hold onto me." My tone was surprisingly soft and tender.

When I watched those dark eyes open slowly, I could see how much he needed to hear those words. "Promise?" he asked, his voice still heavy with sleep.

"I promise. Will you sit up for me? Do you need help?" Immediately, I reached for his shoulders again. Only after I made contact with that warm silky flesh did I think about the fact that my assistance might require my hands to creep a bit lower.

"I'll try" was his only response. Still, I did my best to assist him to a sitting position. Once we managed that, I propped him up carefully with pillows.

I smiled as he leaned back against the pillows and resituated the sheet about his narrow hips. "Are you ready to try some food?"

He shook his head.

"Hm, well, how about a visitor?" I inquired, pushing his hair out of his face and over one shoulder.

He seemed a little lost. "Who?"

"The emperor," I returned. "Though if you wish to entertain, you may want a bit more covering you that a sheet, Shūei."

He nodded slowly. "Especially since he has a history of asking men to sleep with him?"

That seemed to be a hint of his usually self. Surely he was recovering, then, if he could make such jokes. I nodded in agreement and fetched a light blanket from the blankets I'd removed when he was too warm. Draping it over the blanket, I thought it might make him feel a little less naked.

He smiled weakly at me and I frowned. Reaching up, I pressed my wrist to his forehead. No particular rise in his temperature, but still no drop. The medicine the emperor had brought for him would probably be necessary, after all. Thinking about the medicine made me wonder something else. "Are you having any aches?" I inquired softly.

Nodding just barely, his jaw tense, Shūei gave the simplest of answers.

I couldn't believe the emperor had predicted that, but he did tend to surprise me occasionally. "The emperor brought medicine for you. It should help you feel better while you recover." I smiled at him softly and used my fingers to move one more strand of hair off his forehead.

That earned me a small smile that made me want to press my lips to his. Somehow, I resisted and instead played in his damp, silky hair for a moment and gave him a smile of my own. We only got that single moment of happy, sweet connection before I moved away from him, from the bed, and crossed the room to open the door.

"Your highness," I greeted once more, beckoning him into the room. I suddenly wondered if Shūei illness was contagious. Then I decided that the emperor was a hale and hearty young man. I was more likely to get it than he was, anyway. At least if I ended up with it, there would be someone there for me and taking care of me, even if he _was_ the weirdest man I ever met.

The emperor hurried to Shūei's side, but I didn't mind. Shūei _was_ ill and I frankly did not want to participate in any sort of discourse with the emperor until I'd given his gifts to my patient.

"If you can _promise_ to play nice, I'll prepare the medicine and leave you alone to converse. Is that alright, Shūei?" I had to ask. I mean, he'd made me promise not to leave him –not that I'd intended to go anywhere before he extracted that promise.

He nodded and I smiled.

I slipped out of the room carefully, the door still propped open because I wanted to hear if Shūei had need of me. Of course, I would never have guessed the first words to emerge from the emperor's mouth.

"Kōyū would make a wonderful housewife. We wonder how he might react to an invitation to the Imperial Harem."

"I heard that," I called back from the kitchen. "And I wouldn't suggest it, unless you wish Reishin to become angrier with you." I didn't add that he was already mad because his beloved niece had been in the Harem for a time.

"Hm. Perhaps you should take him as a wife instead, Shūei," the emperor implored. "He seems so much kinder to you at the moment. It makes us sad."

I choked, though I really wanted to choke _him_. Did he _really_ have to bring that up when he knew I could hear them?

"Possibly because you persist in referring to him as though he's female?" Shūei's voice sounded a bit stronger, though that was the longest sentence he'd uttered this morning.

"Perhaps he'd just rather attach himself to you."

Shūei laughed. "Perchance I just seem more helpless at the moment."

I shook my head ruefully. _Men_. I would never understand them.

* * *

_Don't mind the royal "we" and the fact Kōyū never calls him by name... Well all can love the emperor, right? Especially when he's laughing at Kōyū :P_

_I had to perpetuate the housewife comparison, haha. Just wait until Kōyū kicks Ryuuki out so Shūei can sleep, haha. You know that will be worth waiting on :P_

_Anyway! Shūei's finally getting medicine, so god only knows what happens from here! _

_Who wants a mutual "I love him but can't tell him"? It would seem like a reward for all of Kōyū's hard work, the poor dear.._

_Let me know how you liked this chapter, please! I worked hard on it and went over it like three times . _

_Ever at your pleasure,  
~Sins~_


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